Are you getting nervous yet?

This is a question that I am already getting tired of. My usual response is that, "I try not to think about it." It is not me just putting people off because I am getting tired of the question, it is also currently me method for dealing with any nervousness that comes my way. Part of me feels like this is a juvenile response by myself to the stress of getting married, the other part says, "Well, it's working." The way I see it, we already live together, and we have for a while. Nothing in my life is going to change, other than my last name, and that is something that is totally different, and worthy of a separate post. So, if nothing is going to change, at least for the time being, and I am happy with my life the way it is now, why should I fret?

Probably nearly as often, but for a lot longer, people have also been asking "Are you excited?" My sarcastic response would be something along the lines of, "Do you think I would be getting married if I were not..." The truth is, I am not excited. When I tell (a few) people this, they begin to rationalize with me. "Oh, you will be when it gets closer..." "Well, at least you are smiling..." I am really OK with not being excited about it. As Ms. B.e.A. says, "I am happy," and you know what, I am happy. Life is good. I think I got so caught up in the beginning with the idea of being engaged and the idea of getting married that it almost got the best of me. If we were to start planning it all over tomorrow, I don't think I would do a lot different, but I would do a few things differently. Things that would, perhaps, alleviate some stress now.

It is kind of funny, my firefighter and I were talking the other day about getting married, and it has almost become a means to an end at this point. Don't be fooled, we love each other, truly, madly, deeply. The wedding at this point just makes the love we have had for each other for years more official in the eyes of many, and for that, and many other reasons, I am happy to be getting married.