Blog- Fail

Life has been nothing short of hectic.

*Started taking a couple classes to keep me motivated in the unemployment (perhaps not the best choice anymore...).

*The husband is gone on a fire. He left Thursday, September 9th. He doesn't have phone service, so I have only talked to him 2 or 3 times.

*Family drama to be discussed in another blog posting

* Wedding and work drama to be forgotten forever

*It has been a very difficult month for me. I am physically and emotionally drained. I have a perpetual feeling of, I don't know how else to describe it other than drowning.

The day Steve left for the fire I went and saw Eat, Pray, Love with a girlfriend. I enjoyed the book but did not know what to expect of the movie. Their is a Neil Young song in the movie that I have been thinking about since.

"Heart Of Gold"

by: Neil Young

I want to live,

I want to give

I've been a miner for a heart of gold.

It's these expressions

I never give

That keep me searching for a heart of gold

And I'm getting old.

Keeps me searching for a heart of gold

And I'm getting old.

I've been to Hollywood

I've been to Redwood

I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold

I've been in my mind,

it's such a fine line

That keeps me searching for a heart of gold

And I'm getting old.

Keeps me searching for a heart of gold

And I'm getting old.

Keep me searching for a heart of gold

You keep me searching for a heart of gold

And I'm growing old.

I've been a miner for a heart of gold.

Fire

The husband finally left for one. Thank God.

July 1st

July 1st, and no fires... I have been graced with the husbands presence all month. Good times, except for the fact that we need the money...

june

June means-

Wedding this weekend (one that I am NOT looking forward to).

Fire Season... Well, it might be here, we'll see if the husband is still around at the end of the month.

Summer is finally here (I have a huge bruise on my thigh to prove it from being out on the lake over memorial weekend, I will spare you any pictures).

Planted the garden, and it is actually looking OK. Now, we will have to see if it survives the deer and next winter.

The flip-flop tan lines are already firmly in place and will remain until next November most likely.

Will hopefully get to see the niece and nephews a little more.

Speaking of the possibility of fire season being here. What is a girl supposed to do without this guy around all the time...

I guess I am going to have to find my own way to amuse myself.

It begins

Smokey has finally left, and fire season has started, even though it officially started over two months ago.

Smokey is on the Knights Fire, which is very close to where we live, and makes it kind of weird. He is working from 4pm-7:30am. Since he is so close to home he decided to come home during the day and sleep rather than sleeping outside in the heat. I'm happy for him that he gets to come home everyday, but I rarely get to see him.

I think him coming home every day makes it a little tougher on me, at least emotionally. I leave before he gets home, and he is gone by the time I get home from work. I only see the remnants of him. Dirty dishes and clothes, and every now and then a little love note. He called me this morning as he was eating breakfast and getting ready to go to bed and asked among other things if I had done some laundry (FYI-I had done all the laundry)...

It feels like one of those movies, Serendipity is the first one that comes to mind, where the couple almost sees each other over and over again, but never do until the end of the movie. I don't like chick flicks like this. They are annoying and frustrating to me. Just so you know, it is also annoying and frustrating when it happens in real life. I don't know how couples do it who work different shifts all the time. They are stronger people that I am.