Uncle Steve & Baby LeiLani

Love it!

Dear Mom

July 18, 2011

Dear Mom,

It has been nine years since you died. I am tripped out by this, considering that this year, you will be gone for half as much time as I knew you on this earth. Weird.

Compared to when you first passed away, I miss you more this year than I have any year prior. I think mainly because this has been the hardest year of my life, and I don’t really have a mother-figure to share it with or to get advice from. I know there are plenty of people that care, but none are you, and it is not the same.

There is not one portion of my life that looks like I thought it would look when you were still on this earth. That is not something negative about my life now, I love my husband, and loved that I left school of ministry and got a degree, and I love that I live in Sonora and am able to be a part of every ones life here. When you were here, I very much thought I would somehow end up working for a church or being in ministry, that I would live someplace else, that you would still be alive. None of that was in the cards though. School of Ministry showed me that though I love God, the "ministry" is not for me. For me, it was separating so many people that I did not want to be separated from. I realized that often it built walls, and I wanted to build bridges. After Greg died, I realized that I needed to be in Sonora for a while longer, that being in Redding through it all was not going to work anymore. At the end of the day, I wanted to be like you, and just love people. And while, being in Sonora again has been great, it is where I met Steve, and so many other great things have happened, I know that this time will not last forever. The winds of change are always blowing.

People often try to say what you would say about something or think about a situation. "Your mom would love..." or "Mom would not..." I cannot really do that though. I am sure of the fact that you would love me and everyone you came in contact with, other than that, we have all changed, and you would have changed too.

I found this picture of you the other day while going through some pictures, and it caught me off guard. The same way it catches me off guard when I randomly see your hand-writing somewhere. I almost lose my breath for a moment. I believe that this picture is before you were married or had any children, but it is just so, you. Honestly, I cried when I saw it.

I knew when you died that you would never meet my husband, never meet so many grandchildren, and that every important and so many less important life events will just somehow be lacking because you are not there. People frequently say that you are looking down on us and watching us during these events, and I get that they are saying that to try and give comfort and be supportive in the midst of those events, it does not give me comfort though. Quite frankly it just feels like we were robbed of so much time with you.

At the end of the day, I believe that there is a support and a love that only a mother can give, and I have been lacking that for nine years now. Though I know that I am not alone, sometimes it feels like that because you are not here, and like I said earlier, it has been worse this year than any year prior, and today in particular.

I love you so very much, and I miss you. With all of me, I miss you.

Celeste-Pie

May Birthday's

My sister and her family do not mess around with the May Birthdays.

May 1st, is when this precious baby girl was born.

Her mom's birthday is May 7th.
I think she looks great here, especially for having the baby six days before this!

And her son's birthday is May 11th.

Dad's birthday is not in May though. Still 3 out of the 4 in the family in a two week period.
Happy Birth-Day LeiLani!
Happy Birthday Anniversary Amber & Bradley!

Birthday Extravaganza

My birthday, was well over a month ago. In the midst of having three part time jobs I have not put up the pictures from that day yet. Wait, who am I kidding, in the midst of being unemployed it is not like I got pictures up any sooner. In my defense, I do not have internet at home. If I did, I am quite confident that I would get posts up in a more timely fashion.

So, my birthday was on a Saturday, so I wanted to go wine tasting with all of my friends. Even with a month's notice, most of them could not show up at the end of the day, so here is who we had.

My brother-in-law is on the end, who does not normally have a black beard, and is in fact blond, but was going to a giants game later in the weekend, and died it for the occasion. Dirk, my friend from Sacramento is next to him, then me, and then the husband. This is our first or second stop of the day.

This is my sister, aka the driver's, self portrait. Sad face here for not being able to taste with us. In our defense, she was driving because she was pregnant.

And the husband and I somewhere along the road.
Shortly after this, and me being disappointed that most of my friends bailed out, we decided that next year we are not going to have any b-day parties.

The Baran's

Something you need to know about the Baran's, is that they pretty much don't pass up an opportunity to drink, my in-laws, my husband, and his brother are all like this.

So, here we are on Sunday after I have had about 2 hours of sleep, and just before we go to see Baby LeiLani, doing some wine tasting, in true Baran form.

May Day

The most precious May Day gift did not come in a basket this year, but from my sister. My newest niece was born May 1st at about 5:21 am weighing 7 lbs, 12 oz.

Here she is, LeiLani Angelina Silva being weighed.

And the family, Dad, Thomas, and Mom, Amber.

Her big brother did come meet her a couple hours later. Apparently he was disappointed she was not bigger. He wanted her to be big enough so he could play with her now. He was there for a few minutes, then announced that he needed to go because he had a party to go to and he had to go see his friends.

Auntie Pie finally getting to hold her, with the the doctor in the background.

Uncle Steve meeting her for the first time later that day.

My MIL and FIL were in town too. So, they would not pass up the opportunity to meet her. Especially since she gave her five home-made stuffed animals that were very precious. I am quite sure after holding this precious baby, my MIL will not be satisfied until the husband and I have one.

My oldest niece was very excited about finally having a girl cousin. Since she is the only girl with two brothers, and four boy cousins. I asked her the other day if she was going to be ok with another princess in the group, and she informed me that she could teach LeiLani everything that it takes to be a princess. I told her that was good, since she is the oldest and will frequently have to set the example. However, after realizing that she is the oldest princess, she thought for a moment, then exclaimed, "I could be QUEEN!!!!"

Congratulations Amber, Thomas and Bradley...
Jenica too, who has wanted another girl cousin for a long time.

Due Date

Today is Amber's due date. I just took a beautiful picture of her, but I cannot find the cord to my camera, so no picture will go up here :( Hopefully Baby LeiLani will grace us with her presence soon.

Mini Muffin Making Machine

My beautiful sister is pregnant, as many of you know. For her baby shower we decided to do a tea of sorts. I somehow became the person responsible to make all the mini muffins.

The set-up for making the mini tartlettes.
I probably made 200 tartlette pastries.
Here is one bowl of them.















Next, I made a whole bunch of mini cheesecakes.












This is how part of the spread came
out.










Here are my lemon tartlettes, chocolate mousse tartlettes, and mini cheesecakes.

I also made tons of mini muffins, but somehow, got no pictures of that anywhere in the process. I guess you'll just have to take my word on that one.

At the end of the day, I threw away TONS of mini tartlettes, cheesecakes, and muffins. Se La Vi. The mama felt loved.

My step-mom, Heidi, niece, Jenica, little-big sister, Amber and myself.

Everybody was kung-fu fighting...

Or dancing... Or a mix of both...

These are my nephews Brayden and Bradley.

Brayden is the tall one, and Bradley is the one who wants to hang out in his underwear whenever possible.



This is the same night of Steve's birthday party.

These two make my heart very happy.

Baran Birthday

The husband's birthday is February 11th. Last year we had a big shin-dig for his 40th. This year was more mellow with just inviting some friends over for dinner for the big b-day.

However, this is what happens in regards to pictures when I am to busy cooking food in the kitchen so the husband is the one who grabs the camera....

The husband, in all of his glory.

The wife, aka, me...
Mike.


Thomas (bro-in-law)

Kevin.

Rob, Robert, Roberto, Cap'n Bobby...

The beautiful and pregnant sister, Amber. Mine, not Steve's.

Wendy.

Caleb, my brother.

Mr. Wendy, aka Flan, or Shawnn.

This also means there were no pics of the mass quantities of food I made or the TWO beautiful desserts (lemon tart and the uncle's pear pie)... Just so you know what kind of a night it was, all of these people had to crash at my house after the party sans the pregnant sister and her husband...

On a side note, that is of a similar tone... I don't think I have ever been so hung over in my life. I won't share all of those gorey details with you though. Count yourself blessed.

Pirates.

I am re-committed to finding joy in the little things. I always try to, but every now and then need to be reminded of this.

This is my nephew Brayden just before his pirate birthday got going, with the most awesome pinata of all time. Only slightly more awesome than this was when he was fighting the pirate just before this. The pictures did not do it justice though.

Snow Day

After having now power since Saturday (minus a few hours here and there) and it is supposed to get down to 20 degrees or so tonight... We are staying at a hotel in our town (below the snow line). It makes me a little sad though, my dad is probably less than 150 yards away, yet staying at a hotel was better than the option than staying with him... Another story for another time...

My Lady

My lady was in town a few weeks ago. So we did something new and different for us,

we went wine tasting.

Let me clarify, we both love wine and wine tasting, but for some reason

we have never done it together.

It was simply marvelous.

The husband even offered to come pick us up after it all, but that is another story...

Brook, attempting to find her prince charming.

Unfortunately, this frog was not it.



A little later that night with Zac-Bob in the background,
and moving on to margaritas and vodka tonics.

We also went back to the "good old days" and slept in the same bed that night.

The Husband was only mildly offended.

Brook, next time you must stay up for the whole three day weekend, in my opinion.

The River Wild

I was in Oregon last week.

Oh, and good news, the vacation tradition continues, I got a speeding ticket on my way home. Vi- at this point I am going to quit driving like a Californian.

The primary purpose of my trip was to do a belated birthday gift for my MIL. She told me around Christmas time that she has always wanted to go river rafting. So, for her birthday the husband and I got her (and me) a rafting trip.

This is us before we leave for our big adventure. I do not have any pictures from the rafting itself, I was not willing to possibly sacrifice another camera. We did have a good time. The McKenzie River was cold, very cold, and we were both pretty soaked when our half-day trip was over.

Over-all it was a birthday victory.

It's Tough

It's tough being a kid in the middle of summer.

The Planner

I am the planner in my family. Probably just one more reason I am currently working as an event coordinator.

Anyways, I started talking to my family a month ago about Thanksgiving, to which my sister-in-law replied, "Celeste-Pie, already!"

Here is why I plan early- Family is very important to me, and no matter how early I plan, they still flake out... Whenever, I wait to plan, everyone acts as if they have had the plans forever. I have this hope that if I plan early enough, and remind everyone, that perhaps they will all show. Thanksgiving will be the next test for this theory. Only time will tell if my theory will be proven, or, if yet again, it will be dis-proven.

I view myself as realistic and well as optimistic. Therefore, I doubt very much that everyone will show, however, I keep the hope alive.

It begins

Smokey has finally left, and fire season has started, even though it officially started over two months ago.

Smokey is on the Knights Fire, which is very close to where we live, and makes it kind of weird. He is working from 4pm-7:30am. Since he is so close to home he decided to come home during the day and sleep rather than sleeping outside in the heat. I'm happy for him that he gets to come home everyday, but I rarely get to see him.

I think him coming home every day makes it a little tougher on me, at least emotionally. I leave before he gets home, and he is gone by the time I get home from work. I only see the remnants of him. Dirty dishes and clothes, and every now and then a little love note. He called me this morning as he was eating breakfast and getting ready to go to bed and asked among other things if I had done some laundry (FYI-I had done all the laundry)...

It feels like one of those movies, Serendipity is the first one that comes to mind, where the couple almost sees each other over and over again, but never do until the end of the movie. I don't like chick flicks like this. They are annoying and frustrating to me. Just so you know, it is also annoying and frustrating when it happens in real life. I don't know how couples do it who work different shifts all the time. They are stronger people that I am.

The Slumber Party

Saturday was the first time the firefighter and myself watched one of my nephews all night long. I have spent the night with my niece and nephews many times, but he has never been a part of this. He is usually gone on a fire or something.


The nephew we were watching was Amber's son Bradley. Here is a picture of Bradley at my wedding.

He is the cutest thing ever. He is going to be two on May 11 (7-11 how sweet is that), so he is finally starting to say some words we understand, and many we don't...

I could not have asked for a better kid to have the firefighters first child over-night experience. Last time Bradley stayed at my house he woke up 3 or 4 times throughout the night, one of those being when he rolled off the bed (even though I had pillows all around him).

This time, he was an angel. He cried for about 30 seconds when I laid him down, and then was just sucking his bottle. He slept all night, and did not wake up until about 8 am. Even then he did not cry or anything, I just heard him rustling around, and figured I would get him so SB could sleep a little longer.

So, the first night of a kiddie sleeping over, success! Victory is at hand.

A Picture

This is my niece Jenica (who is also the only flower girl in my wedding) taking a picture of me, and my sisters Amber and Michaelyn. This picture was provided courtesy of my step-sister Hope. I think this picture is great, and I just wanted to share it with all of you. According to theknot.com it is 26 days until the wedding, just to keep everyone posted on that front as well. My calendar is starting to fill up with everything that I have to do in the next month. There is time, I am just trying to not overwhelm myself with it all. I tried on my dress on Saturday after it got altered and it fits perfectly, now they are going to press it and I will pick it up the day before the wedding. I could bore you all with the details of everyone I have to meet with in the next month, but it really is boring, even for me and it is my wedding.

This week in pictures

I don't think that there is anything more precious than slobber kisses from a child you love. This is my nephew Bradley, or Studley as I like to call him. Yes, he does have a shiner (he is a boy who has two cousins who know no fear)

Even better than slobber kisses is slobber kisses during bath time. I thought about putting the naked-po pictures of him lying on his back splashing like there was no tomorrow, but some things need to be saved for future embarrassment.